


Remodeling Innocence

by Nectardust



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, After Chapter 5, Age Difference, Lemon, Lime, M/M, No Elysias were harmed in the writing of this fic, Roy and Ed are really bad with kids about this, Secret Relationship, Suggestive humor, Unfinished, Work Up For Adoption, getting caught
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:00:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nectardust/pseuds/Nectardust
Summary: Elysia Hughes is more than a bit confused when her Uncle Roy and Big Brother Ed start acting close. Really close. Innocent eyes see everything they're not supposed to.





	1. Baseball and Laundry

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I own some merchandise, though.
> 
> Originally posted on FF.net back in 2006/2007. Yeah, wow. Unbeta'ed and unchanged from original post.

One thing led to another.

The knowledge that Maes Hughes was having his house remodeled was the furthest thing from Roy Mustang's mind when he pushed his younger blond lover against the stair railing. They were about twenty paces from the bedroom, and a trail of clothes marked their progress from the study to their current location halfway up the steps. Roy's military jacket had been the first to go, and it lay scrunched between two sofa pillows that had witnessed far too many of these early evening "I'm-home-from-work-so-fuck-me-NOW" rituals. Four military boots were strewn across the room, two near the window, one on the armchair, and the last on a bookshelf. Ed's black tank top had somehow ended up in the cold fireplace, and his thick belt had been lost somewhere between the kitchen and the entrance hallway.

Now, with Ed conveniently pinned to the stair railing, Roy was relentlessly undoing the buttons and zipper that kept the leather pants from sliding to the ground. He shifted accordingly to give Ed room to work on his already half-unbuttoned undershirt, only stopping to give the other a hard kiss once he'd finally managed to push Ed's pants down over his hips. "Come on," he panted, tugging Ed upwards, as if the teenager actually needed the prodding. He yanked on the blond's wrist again and Ed tripped, violently cursing the leather that pooled around his ankles. Roy heaved, and Ed kicked the offending garment off his person and down the stairs, both watching in satisfaction as the leather landed in a heap in front of the door – just as the doorbell rang.

"Fuck," Ed breathed, red in the face both from excitement and embarrassment. "Let's not answer."

In response, Roy kissed him again, long and deep. His hands were just cupping Ed's face, and his tongue was just sweeping the inside of Ed's mouth for the first time in thirty seconds, when the doorbell rang again. Incessantly. Like the person on the other side of the door was a madman, content to listen to the continuous 'ding-dong' all night if necessary. And as wonderfully pleasurable as it was, in theory, to ignore the outside world and continue with the night's activities, it was rather difficult – not impossible, but yes, difficult - to disregard interruption when it was in the form of Maes Hughes and his beloved family.

"Rooooyyy! I know you're in there! Stop scoring and let me in!" Maes was disturbingly loud, and Roy sincerely hoped his neighbors couldn't hear. Then again, they probably already knew, considering how vocal Edward could be, especially in the middle of the night.

The two alchemists looked at one another, then collectively turned towards the door. "You go," Ed whispered, shoving Roy down the stairs and attempting to flee to the sanctity of the bedroom. He almost tripped again when Roy caught his hand and kept him in place, glaring. "You're more dressed than I am," the blond explained, defending his right to escape. It was true, but Roy didn't have to like it. It wasn't his fault Ed was still a bit slow in undressing his lover. Ed was left only his boxers, and Roy had on a full set of pants. His shirt was unbuttoned all the way, but it still clung to his shoulders in a remote sense of modesty. It didn't matter that he was painfully erect, or that it showed. What mattered was that he was far more decent than when compared to Ed, and there were only the two of them available to open the door.

Alphonse was on a train, on his way to Rush Valley to visit Winry while she improved her skills. As armor, he couldn't sleep and as it was, he was feeling a bit too mortified when he heard his brother's nightlife with the Colonel. He'd tried covering his head with a pillow, the way it would muffle the sounds from down the hall if he'd had normal human ears, but it hadn't worked. He heard every moan, every squeak of the mattress when Colonel Mustang really 'got going,' every issued command ("Fuck, Mustang, _faster_!" and the older's countering, "Work for it, shrimp! Let me know you want it!" and his brother's resulting scream of rage.) He heard all the foreplay, all the over-exaggerated slurps and kissing noises, and he heard their kinks, even though he'd rather not hear any of it at all. ("Put on the skirt, Fullmetal." And his brother's, "Only if you fuck me while I'm wearing it, Colonel Bastard." And Al could swear he _heard_ his brother's lover's smirk.)

It was not good for his fragile, sensitive fifteen-year-old mind. There were some things he just didn't want to _know_ about his brother, and his brother's gay sex life with the Colonel was one of them. After a few months of cowering in fear a couple rooms over, Al knew he needed a break from such mental torture and so – off to Winry it was. He knew he could count on _her_ not to have sex basically in front of him, as had often happened at home (Mustang's house, his mind reasoned. Though Ed had started to view it as home, he didn't. Not really.). No. He could sit at the dinner table with Winry and know there was no indecent groping going on under the tablecloth. He could sit with her and relax, knowing that he didn't have to _run_ to the library if he so much as heard one tiny moan of sexual appreciation. How he wished the library in Central was open twenty-four hours!

The youngest Elric needed some time to himself, a vacation sans his brother and the ever-present research on the Stone. He needed to clear his head and suppress the memories of the last few months. He needed to let Edward have his privacy.

It had been awkward, bringing up just WHY he had to get away…

_"I'm sorry, Brother, but I just can't listen to you anymore. No, Brother, don't take this the wrong way! I just…_ _erm_ _, can't sleep._ _At night."_ _He was fumbling for words, and it showed. He couldn't sleep anyway, no matter the time. His brother was smart enough to see through it, right? Ed would get that he couldn't relax during "sex time" down the hall…_

_Edward had stared at him in apparent confusion for about five minutes before things clicked. Then he blushed and laughed and looked at the wall, because where else could he look when discussing sex with his younger brother? "_ _Er_ _…right. Sorry, Al. We'll try to_ _keep it down, okay_ _?"_ _Before the armor could say anything, the blond went on, "Or how about a little trip to_ _Resembool_ _? You haven't seen_ _Winry_ _for awhile…"_

_Alphonse had nodded hurriedly; anything to keep his brother in agreement: he needed to get away for a little while. He wasn't surprised Ed mentioned_ _Resembool_ _. His older brother had been so wrapped up in the Colonel lately that he hadn't realized_ _Winry_ _had secured an apprenticeship in Rush Valley._ _"Of course, Brother._ _I'll go see_ _Winry_ _. Have fun with Colonel Mustang." He didn't need to wish them 'fun'; he knew they would. He definitely knew they would._

And both State Alchemists, true to Alphonse's prediction, were planning to fully take advantage of their week alone. Because they always _meant_ to hold back, really they did, but it was just so _hard_. But now they could completely utilize their alone time, and the entire situation would work for everyone involved. Alphonse would come back refreshed, and Edward would have his free time to devote to his lover instead of the Stone. Just for that one week of alone time. The alone time they'd been looking forward to, eager to make every moment count. The alone time that was currently being disturbed by a fanatical father slash military man slash best friend.

-+-

Nobody could refuse Maes. The man could be damn annoying when he put his mind to it, and he never seemed to get tired. He would go on for hours, picture after picture, doorbell ring after doorbell ring. Roy sighed in resignation and his shoulders slumped, fingers finally loosening around Ed's so the blond could finally run to the bedroom. Mentally composing himself, the Flame glanced downwards at 'himself' and cursed. Oh well. Maes was a man himself; he could handle Roy in the 'state' he was in…

"Daddy, does Uncle Roy know we're coming?"

The sound of the sweet, four-year-old little girl voice outside his house made Roy pause in horror. _Elysia_ was here? Maes brought his _daughter_? Had the man lost all traces of common sense? Maes knew he was 'busy.' He'd just yelled it for the whole block to know. And Roy certainly couldn't be seen, in all his hardness, by an innocent child. Not now. Not ever. He looked down at himself again, willing his arousal to go away so he could open the door. So Maes would stop ringing the goddamn doorbell. And so Elysia wouldn't be exposed to the perverted nature of the male species, at least until she was ten years older. Probably more.

The mental image of Ed pleasing himself a floor above him made his situation worse, and Roy briefly considered following the teen and getting rid of his erection the usual way – through sex. It would have to be a quickie, he mused, but Ed would understand. It happened often enough. All the office fucks were quick and to the point, so it wasn't like Ed was unused to the rushed desperation and choked back groans.

"I told your Uncle Roy that our house was being remodeled starting today, sweetheart. I'm sure he remembers that I hinted we needed _somewhere_ to stay…" Maes said, reassuring his daughter and squashing her fears of living off the streets. "I'm sure Roy will understand and take us in. Don't worry, sweetie, Uncle Roy would never leave us in the dark."

Fear trickled down Roy's spine as he heard the words, a cold, frozen numbness spreading outward to encompass his entire body and rooting him in place with tiny icicles on the stairwell. Maes had mentioned something about his house, and how his family was asked to leave during the renovations, but he'd never outright asked for a place to stay during that time. And why oh why did it have to be during the week Alphonse took off? Couldn't the Hughes just stay at a hotel? It wasn't like the military didn't pay well…Maes was one of their best in the Investigations Department…

"I don't think Uncle Roy is home, Daddy. All the lights are off…and he's not answering the door." Elysia whimpered, sounding scared, and Roy could imagine her clutching her father's hand, trusting him to keep the bad world at bay. To be the ever-protective father, guarding his child with the devotion only a parent could shoulder.

Roy straightened, squaring his shoulders and marching forcefully down the steps. Elysia sounded so terrified to be out of her home in the almost-darkness of the evening, and Roy had sworn to never hurt a child ever again. He couldn't leave them out there. He couldn't bear to let Elysia suffer in terror outside his front door, not while he could offer her comfort and a temporary home. She was a _child_. In need of help. And that was probably exactly why Maes brought her, knowing the Flame's weakness and guilt-stricken conscience. Damn the man. He wasn't Roy's best friend for nothing.

"Oh, he's home all right," Maes muttered. "I know that much."

The door opened slowly, and Roy kicked Ed's pants to the side of the hallway, hopefully out of view as he let himself onto the front porch. The memories of his crimes in Ishbal had helped to quell his sex drive, and he was proud to say he was completely slack and relaxed as he stood before Maes and his daughter. "Hello, Maes. And Elysia. How are you doing there, munchkin?"

In typical small-child style, the little girl glared at the alchemist and said, accusingly, "You didn't answer the door for the longest time!"

Maes leaned down to look his daughter seriously in the eye and explained, "Your Uncle Roy was playing baseball." The clarification seemed to work for the youngster (it would explain why Uncle Roy was so sweaty and red and out of breath), and the impatience and anger she felt at her father's friend melted into excitement and happiness at seeing her 'uncle.'

The four-year-old gasped and playfully shook her finger at her 'Uncle Roy,' admonishing him with, "Uncle, you should know better than to play baseball in the house. You might break something! Or get hurt!"

Roy stared at the child, stunned, before an amused smile crept over his face and he leant down next to his friend. "Actually, sometimes the hurt is half the fun, wouldn't you agree, Maes?" His eyes were trained on the little girl, but he spoke to her father, an annoyed glint gracing black eyes.

Elysia took a moment to ponder this before breaking out into a smile and throwing her arms around 'Uncle Roy's' neck. He had gotten down on her level, after all, so he _must_ have wanted a hug. It was what her daddy always wanted when _he_ knelt down beside her…"Oh well. I guess as long as you were winning, and it's your house, then you know what you're doing!"

Maes chuckled as Roy froze, not used to such affection – at least from a child – at least not from a real child, because Ed didn't really count as one, not anymore. "I'd say Uncle Roy was 'winning' just fine, Elysia. I think we got here before he could finish his game, though. Am I right?" His green eyes sparkled with knowing mischief behind his glasses, and he confined the uproarious laughter that needed to escape into a small, quirky grin.

Before Roy could answer, Elysia squealed and clung tighter to her 'uncle.' "Can I watch? Please, Uncle Roy? I want to see you finish! Did you make any home-runs yet?" Roy was actually glad the child was hanging so tightly around his neck, because it gave him an excuse to choke and sputter and he suddenly, desperately, needed some air. He looked to his best friend for help, only to find Maes rambling about how Elysia was 'going to be the greatest baseball player ever' and he knew he'd get no help from that corner.

"How about you two come inside?" Roy suggested once he'd finally peeled the kid's arms from his neck. He patted Elysia on the head for good measure, reassuring her he still enjoyed her company. He didn't want to make her feel let down. She was only a kid, after all. Smiling, he stood and opened the door, letting himself in first so he could snatch Ed's pants from the floor. It wouldn't do to have Maes question him about why a garment of Fullmetal's clothing was on his floor. Hearing the others follow him into the house, Roy turned back around with leather pants in hand, trying to fold them as best he could under the circumstances. "Sorry," he breathed. "We were just in the middle of doing laundry."

Maes let his eyes flicker from the pants to his friend's face, and Roy knew he knew. Maes Hughes would definitely recognize Ed's clothes, and then he'd piece everything together and the secret would be out. The two alchemists had decided it was best to keep word of their relationship to themselves, letting Alphonse in on the new development only because Ed couldn't bear lying to his brother. Maes knew Roy was doing no such thing as laundry.

Before Maes could question him, Elysia stared at him, stomped her foot, and protested, "But I thought you said you were playing _baseball_!"


	2. Bribes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a more explicit-rated version of chapter 3, but it's long gone. Unless a random stranger on the Internet happens to miraculously have a copy somehow from over a decade ago. So, uh, consider this putting out feelers for said miracle?

"Uncle Roy is extremely good at multi-tasking," Maes explained, green eyes cold as they focused on the fidgeting Flame Alchemist. Elysia didn't know the meaning of the term 'multi-tasking,' but her daddy was never wrong so she accepted his words as fact and skipped further into the house. "Of course," the investigator continued thoughtfully, "one must wonder why the great Roy Mustang would be caught holding Edward Elric's pants."

Before Roy could toss out an answer, the sound of mismatched feet thudding down the stairs, coupled with the four-year-old's excited cry of, "Big Brother Ed!" announced the Fullmetal Alchemist's presence in the house. "Hey, you got my pants, old man. I was looking for those!" Ed breathed, careful not to look at Maes lest he give anything away. With any luck, they could save face and write off the whole pants issue with a well-placed lie. It had worked before, but never on Hughes. It had never _needed_ to work on Hughes.

"And I see you've got mine," Roy droned, deadpan, as he cast his eyes appreciatively over his own pair of sweatpants loosely clinging to Ed's hips. It was clear the clothes weren't made to fit the blond teen, and it actually made them both look more suspicious…but there was just something so intimate and sexy about Edward Elric wearing _his_ clothes instead of his own that Roy could forgive him. Just this once.

Elysia tugged on Ed's – Roy's – pants and lifted her arms, demanding to be picked up. The teen laughed and swept the little girl into his arms, bouncing her with all the ease of practiced "big brotherhood" and making the kid giggle like nothing else. "Yeah, well, unless you'd _rather_ me walk around naked…" Ed countered, raising an eyebrow in his lover's direction while knowing Roy couldn't answer truthfully. Not while the Hughes were there.

Roy cleared his throat awkwardly, looking to the floor to avoid Ed's gaze. Did the damned brat _want_ to give him another hard-on? Well, obviously, but he had to work on his timing. Edward knew it was useless to partake in this game when they had very persistent company in the foyer.

"What's Big Brother Ed doing here, Uncle Roy?" Elysia asked, craning her neck around to look her 'uncle' in the eye.

"Yes, Roy, what _is_ 'Big Brother Ed' doing here?" Maes echoed, glaring at his best friend.

Roy shifted awkwardly by the door, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. He'd never really perfected the art of lying to Maes Hughes; the man could simply see through everything. "Um, well…" he murmured, knowing the lack of explanation and telltale fidgeting made him look more suspicious but not being able to stand the silence.

"He's looking after me while Al's out of town," Ed supplied easily, glaring at the older alchemist. "You know Al. He can't let me out of his sight without knowing I'm being taken care of. I really don't know why he picked the bastard Colonel – sorry, Elysia, never use that kind of language – anyway, don't know why he trusts Mustang but…it was all Al's idea." He forced a laugh and continued glaring at his lover out the corner of his eye, hoping Roy would catch a hint and back up his story. When in doubt, blame Al.

Maes raised an eyebrow, willing to overlook Ed's vocabulary in front of his daughter if he got to the bottom of this little mystery. He caught the look of desperation on Ed's face, the look that was directed at Mustang, and Maes wondered what Roy would do. "I see," the investigator said thoughtfully, skeptically.

"It's true!" Roy rushed in to say, fervently nodding his head. "Alphonse left me instructions on how to take care of the little shrimp. You know, feed him three meals a day, make sure he gets to bed before eight o'clock, ten on weekends, make sure he doesn't overwork himself, give him books and try not to forget about him, ' _please_ , Colonel, he's all I have,'" Roy continued, quoting what he assumed Al would say if the situation they were cooking up was true. "Al respects me," he said, shooting a superior smirk at Ed and Maes saw how Ed bit his lip to keep from snarling. That was odd. Ed never held back, especially in regards to Roy.

"Okay, okay, you've convinced me," Maes placated, still doubtful but holding out his palms for the sake of sanity. Eyes still narrowed with distrust, he shrugged and took his daughter from Ed's grasp. "I still don't see why you agreed to this, Ed, knowing how independent you are, but I won't press the issue. I came here for a different reason; I need to talk to you, buddy. Elysia, do you want to ask Uncle Roy _the_ question?"

Ed blanched at the reference to his rebellious spirit; why hadn't thy taken that into consideration? It was a good thing Hughes wasn't going to harp on about it. He hoped the man wouldn't remember later. And how dare Roy call him short? He was not a shrimp that needed to be tucked into a fishbowl at eight o'clock every evening because he was too small to take care of himself! Stupid Mustang was just demeaning him in front of company, proving to Hughes that Ed's "legendary independence" wasn't what everyone thought it was. It wasn't fair. It wasn't like he was Elysia's age.

Giggling, the little girl threw her arms into the air, knowing her father would keep hold of her, and looked at the Flame. "Uncle Roy, I know Big Brother Ed is sleeping with you now, but Daddy and I wanted to know if we could sleep here for a few nights, too. Can we? Pretty please?" She looked beseechingly at her Flame Uncle, stretching her arms towards him now instead of towards the ceiling.

She didn't notice Roy's blush resulting from her choice of words, but her father did. "I…" Roy trailed off, letting his eyes flicker to Ed briefly before looking at the Hughes family. "I can't really say no, can I?" he asked softly.

Maes narrowed his eyes as he followed the direction in which Roy's traveled. He'd looked at Edward before coming to a decision, almost like he was indirectly begging for permission – permission, or forgiveness? The investigator cleared his throat and put on his happy mask, laughing out a, "Great! I'll just phone Gracia then and let her know it's all right to come on over. She's waiting with all our clothes and stuff back at the house, just on the off-chance that you wouldn't offer us a place to stay. But we knew you would, right, sweetie?" Maes rambled, tweaking his daughter's nose at the end. "We knew Uncle Roy would come through for us, yes?"

The little girl nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! It just really sucked when he took so long to answer the door. But he was playing around, so I forgive him." Roy resisted the urge to smack his head on the wall.

Maes gasped. "Elysia! Don't you _ever_ let me hear you using that word like that again! We do _not_ say things 'sucked.' We _only_ use the word 'suck' to say something like 'suck on a lollipop.' Okay? Where did you hear that language, anyway?" Ed looked sheepishly to the side mere seconds before Elysia's finger pointed in his direction.

-+-

"I can't believe this is happening."

Roy tilted his head towards the blond lounging on his bed and whistled softly. "Well, Ed, he's my best friend. I can't just turn him away." He looked to his hands and noticed he was still clutching leather pants, and made to throw them at the person to whom they belonged. Luckily, they managed to miss the bottle of chocolate syrup on the nightstand next to the bed. If it wasn't for the fact that he _already_ had to wash an excessive amount of chocolate stains out of his sheets, Roy really didn't want the rest of the bottle to spill and add to his domestic workload.

The blond glared at him again, and Roy wondered if Ed was going to glare at him all night. "I would," the teen muttered darkly, averting his eyes.

"You would not," Roy countered. "If someone came to you for help, you would not turn that someone away. Even if it meant hurting yourself. You've done it before."

"Never when I was going to have a whole week of pure sex," Ed shot back, twisting enticingly amidst the bed sheets and Roy had to remind himself that a four-year-old girl was downstairs listening to the radio. "Hughes can take well enough care of his family without our help."

The older alchemist groaned. Edward was simply insensitive. Edward was incorrigible. Edward was…just like him. "Maybe he can," Roy agreed, perching himself on the side of the bed and letting a hand rub the teen's flesh arm. "But why should he? Friends help each other, Ed. It'll only be for a few days, and then we can fully utilize the second half of the week before Alphonse gets back. Okay?"

"Promise?"

Roy blinked. Edward had never been one to ask; he was wont to take and demand. "Of course." So saying, he leaned down over his younger lover to seal it with a kiss, shifting closer so his tongue could become reacquainted with the inside of Ed's mouth, tracing his hands up and down Ed's sides, rolling fully onto the bed to lie alongside Ed, moaning because of Ed, ignoring Ed's hands frantically trying to tug him closer - because there was an added weight on the edge of the bed that hadn't been there five seconds ago.

"What are you doing to Big Brother Ed, Uncle Roy?"

-+-

The living room was neutral territory. They could explain everything to Elysia there. Except for the fact that they'd had sex in the living room yesterday, and the memories still clung to the furniture as the dried seed they'd neglected to clean in favor of another round. No, the living room wasn't safe. Kitchen, then? No, definitely not. No room was deemed "safe." The living room it was, then.

After scolding Ed for corrupting Elysia's vocabulary, Maes had left to pick up his wife and their luggage, leaving the two alchemists to babysit his darling daughter in his absence. Not having anything with which to entertain a four-year-old, Roy had set her down in front of the radio and hoped she would be able to follow the politics until her parents arrived. (He'd never been one for kids.) He'd then proceeded to drag Ed upstairs to have a private "chat," intent on laying some ground rules to be put into effect while the Hughes were staying in his house. It wasn't his fault he got sidetracked. It was Elysia's fault for venturing upstairs and interrupting them.

How could you explain something like gay sex to a four-year-old?

"You can't tell your parents about what you saw," Roy started off, leveling his famous "I'm superior to you so you have to follow my orders or else" look at the child. "If you do…"

Edward glared at him again, and Roy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Threatening her isn't the way to go, Roy. Look, Elysia. You saw Uncle Roy and me doin' something we weren't supposed to. It would be _really_ bad if your mommy and daddy knew about it, 'kay? And it would be even worse if they knew you walked in on us doing it. It's kind of like when your mommy bakes cookies, and she tells you not to take one but you sneak one anyway. You can't let her know."

"Or your daddy," Roy chimed in. " _Especially_ your daddy."

"And in return," Ed continued, following his law of 'equivalent exchange,' "we owe you."

The little girl looked confused, her face scrunched up in bewilderment as she listened. "I won't tell anyone. And you mean you'll do anything I want you to?"

As the teen nodded, Roy wondered when he'd been reduced to bargaining with a four-year-old.

"Tell me what happened upstairs," Elysia demanded, eyes burning. The curiosity level of the child was overwhelming, and neither alchemist knew what to say. "Tell me what you were doing in the bedroom." She leaned forward from her place in the armchair, the place Roy had gently set her to keep her away from the soiled sofas across the room.

"Um…" Roy trailed off again, looking to Ed for help.

The little girl frowned at the older alchemist. "Were you hurting my big brother? 'Cause my daddy says Big Brother Ed has been through a _lot_ , and you shouldn't be adding to his misery and tribulation, Roy." Just the fact that she left out the 'Uncle' meant she was quoting her father; Roy was sure Maes talked over the dinner table about the two alchemists' infamous fights. Elysia didn't have the vocabulary to connect Ed to "misery" and "tribulation" except based on her father's words.

"No! Roy was making me feel _real good_ ," Ed cut in, leaning forward in his earnestness and Roy had to hold back a laugh at the similarities of the two before him, both leaning towards each other with mouths set and staring at each other with pleading eyes to convey equally important points. "I swear Roy would _never_ hurt me. Ever. So don't worry 'bout a thing, okay?"

Elysia's frown deepened at his words. "But daddy says Uncle Roy hurts you all the time." Before either could protest, she continued, "He calls you 'short,' and I know how that hurts you, Big Brother Ed." And Ed, tough guy extraordinaire, melted at the little girl's observation and empathy. Elysia Hughes was simply as heart-warming as her father constantly claimed. And innocently devious, which Roy _knew_ she inherited from Maes. "So Uncle Roy makes you feel good?" the youngest Hughes asked, brightening considerably now they were done talking about possible Ed-abuse. At the young alchemist's nod, she asked, "Can Uncle Roy do me, too? Can he make me feel real good?"

Roy and Ed looked to each other for guidance again, neither knowing how to answer or change the subject. Now that they'd earned the girl's silence, and assuaged her fears, there was no reason to keep talking about the bedroom incident. But knowing how stubborn children could be, being stubborn still despite his added years, Ed knew Elysia would never let the subject drop until she was good and ready. "Well…that's the thing, kid. Roy's _mine_. You'll have to find your own guy when you're older."

"Ed!" Roy rebuked. "Don't tell her that. Maes would have my head for telling her something like that. He doesn't even want her to know dating exists until she's twenty."

The blond smirked at him. "Then it's a good thing I was the one telling her, and not you."

"You're impossible."

"But that's why you like me."

"Among other reasons, yes."

"What other reasons?" Ed knew exactly what "other reasons" Roy had in mind; didn't he know they weren't appropriate to be spoken of or demonstrated in front of a four-year-old? The blond's smirk widened, and Roy wondered when he'd gotten so damned good at that.

"Well," Elysia interjected, bringing the central focus back to herself. "I like Big Brother Ed 'cause he's really nice to me and he plays with me and he makes me dolls with _alchemy_." Wide eyes betrayed her excitement at even mentioning the science, and she fidgeted in the armchair and looked at Ed. "Please, Big Brother Ed?"

Ed blinked, glanced at Roy, then turned back to the child. She wouldn't have mentioned his alchemy at all unless she wanted something…what did 'please' mean? Then he blinked a second time as comprehension set in. "Elysia," he asked tentatively, "Would you like me to make you a doll in exchange for not telling your mom and dad about what happened upstairs? Will you stay quiet if I alchemize you a doll?" They couldn't really be that lucky, could they? Could they really buy the kid's silence with a mere doll?

Elysia didn't really understand all the words Ed used, but she got the gist of it pretty quickly and nodded her head. "It has to be a doll of Uncle Roy," she explained earnestly, green eyes burning. She was a kid who knew _exactly_ what she wanted. " _And_ you have to let me watch you make it!"

The blond teen nodded, ecstatic at getting off so easily. "Sure thing, kid." Roy breathed a sigh of relief and let himself slump, relax, and watch Ed clap his hands. "Is this all you want, Elysia?" Ed asked, and Roy could have smacked him for offering her more. Didn't Ed know kids were leeches, and would suck him dry? And not in the same way Roy would, either.

Surprisingly enough, the little girl nodded, happy with her Roy doll, hopped from the chair, and ran to the front door. "Mommy and daddy are home!" she squealed. Ed and Roy breathed a simultaneous sigh, glad they'd gotten everything under control before the return of daddy dearest.

They really weren't cut out for babysitting.


	3. Under the Dinner Table

"Let me make dinner. It's the least I can do, especially since you're letting us stay here on such short notice," Gracia offered, smiling and already bustling about the kitchen, peering in cabinets and taking down plates. Ed had to control himself at the word 'short.' Gracia swept past him to open the refrigerator; her daughter trailed along behind her, clutching a spoon and pretending to help with all the skills she possessed. "Goodness Roy, don't you have any food? Your fridge and cabinets are empty!"

"Mommy—"

Roy had the grace to look mildly embarrassed. "Sorry. I was going to go grocery shopping this evening." Ed's head flew up in astonishment; there was no room in their nightly schedule to buy food. Was this just another lie on Roy's part?

"Wow, doing the laundry _and_ grocery shopping," Maes chuckled. "What a splendid husband you'd make." Ed had to clench his teeth and look the other way, and Roy had to forcefully restrain himself from offering him even a smidgeon of comfort. Maes was just too obsessed with getting Roy married off; the Flame could safely bet his friend had never even calculated Edward Elric into the equation.

"Daddy—"

Gracia giggled at her husband's good-natured joshing. "Indeed. I might want to trade. How about it, Roy? You want to be _my_ husband and do all the housework? Maes can live here and you can move in with me and Elysia." Luckily for Ed, Maes was too busy overreacting to the joke to notice the teen's own anger and disbelief.

"Mommy, Daddy –"

"Hush, Elysia. Mommy's trying to figure out what to do for dinner tonight."

The little girl whined and stomped her foot. "But I know where there's food!" Everybody in the room turned to look at her, and she preened under the intent gazes of the adults around her. "There's a bottle of chocolate syrup in Uncle Roy's bedroom. I saw it opened next to his bed when I went up there tonight."

Both Ed and Roy paled and held their breaths, suddenly scared Elysia didn't _really_ understand the nature of their little agreement. She was only four. What if she told? Maes already suspected, but he didn't know for sure…

Gracia sighed and knelt next to her daughter. "Sweetie, chocolate syrup is not dinner food. Thank you for telling us, though."

Her husband raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing up in Uncle Roy's room, Elysia?"

Again, the two alchemists froze in fear, staring desperately at the little girl and each quietly willing her to stay silent.

Elysia shrugged. "Was bored alone downstairs. Uncle Roy and Big Brother Ed were upstairs. Just went to go see them, that's all."

Her father shot a brief glance at both alchemists, noting their pale faces and filing the information away for later usage. "You weren't… _bothering_ your uncle and big brother, were you, sweetie?" he asked sharply, though the edge in his voice was directed at Ed and Roy.

The little girl drew back at the harsh tone in his voice, one she rarely ever heard because he only ever spoke to her with words of love. She'd never seriously been reprimanded yet; she knew she could do no wrong in her father's eyes. Yet here he was, using _that_ tone of voice with her – her, his angel! – and she didn't know what to do. She didn't _think_ she'd done anything wrong; Edward had told her it was him an' Roy who were the naughty ones. They'd promised her she'd still be good, under the condition that she not tell her parents that they were doing bad things upstairs. And she hadn't told, so it made no sense for her father to speak to her in such a way as he was currently doing. Tears bubbled at the corner of her eyes and Elysia longed for her doll to hold. If her daddy was angry with her, then maybe the plushie of her uncle would soothe her wounded heart.

Seeing the child's lip quiver, Roy smoothly stepped in and glared at his friend. "She didn't bother us at all, Maes. We were just talking about the sleeping arrangements. Right, Elysia?" he asked kindly, looking to the little girl to confirm his testimony.

With a firm nod, Elysia scooted to hide behind Edward. She knew – just _knew_ – her father was angry, and it somehow tied in with her. She'd never had to choose between her daddy and uncle before, though, and she knew the feeling of shame at getting caught doing naughty things. Every four-year-old did. Big Brother Ed and Uncle Roy were counting on her to keep their secret. She would do anything to keep them from feeling that shame and embarrassment she knew they must be afraid of.

Ed winced and blindly reached behind him to pat his surrogate little sister's head. She was scared by this new side of her father, the one with anger hidden not far below the surface. Of course Elysia must be confused. And she'd done well, warding off Maes's probing questions with only a little guidance. It was to be expected; she was only four and had yet to master the technique of keeping secrets what they were. And she'd sought refuge behind _him_ , an occurrence that filled Edward with a warm, protective affection for the young one peeking from behind his – Roy's - pants.

"Right." Maes nodded, but he didn't look entirely convinced. "Sleeping arrangements, then. We can't kick you out of the master bedroom, of course, so where shall we go? You have a guest room, I presume." He was all business.

Ed could deal with business-talk; he let his guard down, and Elysia, taking her cue from his newly relaxed posture, slumped in relief as well. The blond was honored at how much the little girl looked up to him, at how often she paid critical attention to his mood and mannerisms and copied him. He was her beloved idol. He was her 'big brother.'

The only guest room set up with furniture was Al's. Edward choked at the remembrance, and the Hughes looked at him with bewilderment. "I'm staying in the guest bedroom," he said, offering a weak smile. "Ro— _Mustang_ took me in when Al left town," he explained, since Gracia was still left in the dark as to why he was there. He also figured Maes could do with a proper reminder.

"Yes, I'm afraid only Edward's room is set up. I have unfurnished rooms if you'd like. Can you handle sleeping bags?" Roy stepped in, grateful for Ed's presence. There was no way he would do the polite thing and offer the master bedroom anyway. His sheets _were_ stained something horrid, and either Gracia or Maes was bound to see if he attempted to do laundry. And then there was the fact that he'd supposedly already finished his laundry earlier that evening. It would look too suspicious. Not that offering the Hughes sleeping bags _wasn't_ , per se, but it was a lot better that they be annoyed at his inhospitality than find out the truth behind his and Ed's relationship.

Maes frowned. Even if he didn't expect Roy to give them _his_ bedroom, he still expected the Flame to offer them _Ed's_ room. Yes, Edward was there first, but the adults deserved the bed more than the children. That was the proper order of things. And besides, Ed and Elysia definitely wouldn't mind sleeping on the ground. Elysia loved 'camping' and surely Ed was used to sleeping in far stranger places than on Roy Mustang's floor.

"Sleeping bags?" Maes asked, deadpan, and his wife chimed in with, "Of course!" They mock-glared at one another as their different answers mingled in the air, sounds twisting together in variations of tone and pitch and meaning.

Roy knew Maes was displeased with the suggestion, but there was nothing he could do about it. Al's room clearly reflected the effects of long-term usage. Books and research littered the floor, and dirty dishes lay haphazardly on the nightstand – from when Ed spent time with his younger brother, since Al couldn't eat. All this could be explained by the fact that Ed was staying with him momentarily, except that there were too many books to have been read in a couple days and there was mold growing in the food. Even the mattress had a distinct impression in the shape of Al's armor, and Maes would be sure to question it if he ever got close enough. The Flame couldn't let his friend pry and discover. Because if given the chance, Maes Hughes was the deadliest man Roy knew.

"So…is that a yes?" the host asked, looking between the married couple. "Can I set you up on the floor? I'm terribly sorry about the inconvenience. It's just that I always thought I'd only need one guestroom, me being a bachelor and all," and he was very careful not to look at Ed while he spoke. His face was neutral, his voice steady. Roy could be very convincing when he needed to be; the problem was, so could Maes.

The bespectacled man glanced at his wife, then at his daughter hiding behind Ed, and then at Mustang. "I'm sure Edward here wouldn't mind letting Gracia take the bed." And there it was. He was playing on Ed's respect for his wife, knowing Ed _could_ actually be chivalrous – very rarely – and that he'd never let Gracia sleep on the floor. Especially after a comment like that. He'd seem heartless. Gracia immediately protested – what was he doing? She could handle the floor just fine! Maes, don't make a big deal out of it, really! – and Maes calmly ignored her to see what Ed would do.

Predictably, the teen was the most reassuring he could be, promising the only spare bed to the 'lady of the house' – Gracia giggled, pretended to be flattered – and Ed laughed along. It didn't take a genius to note how uncomfortable he looked, the nervous sweat on his brow, his twitching hands. For not having anything to hide, both Edward and Roy were exhibiting very peculiar behavior.

"Now that that's settled, how about dinner?" Maes asked, effectively ending the topic under discussion. He would give neither Roy nor Ed room to protest and come up with an alternative sleeping arrangement. Edward had promised the bed to Gracia, and there was no way Maes would let him back out of it. He'd have to keep a closer eye on them. But they were too wary of him; he could see how uncomfortable both his alchemist friends were. There had to be another way to get close; maybe there was someone else they trusted with whatever secret they were sharing.

Too bad Alphonse left town. And that was another thing that niggled in the back of Maes's mind – Alphonse Elric would never, as far as he knew, willingly leave his older brother and travel alone. Al. _Alone_. He could see Ed handling himself in any situation, but Al was just too kind-hearted to fend for himself in the ways of the world. What would drive him off by himself? And what in the world would make him leave his brother in _Roy's_ care? Of all people, the younger Elric brother should know how the two alchemists hated one another!

"Dinner?" Roy asked, as if the idea of eating was the furthest thought from his mind. "Oh. Well, I don't have anything here and we certainly can't starve. We can go out. My treat." He shot a dazzling smile at everyone in the kitchen, sans Ed (because he had to start saving his reputation _now_ , and staring at Ed now would _not_ help matters _)_ , and pulled out his wallet – as if he were actually paying for their planned meal, like they were already seated in a restaurant.

"Not yet," Gracia laughed, and Roy blushed as he realized where he was standing. "There is a lovely, not-too-expensive place that's been open for about a year. It's not too far from here, only a couple blocks south. I've always wanted to try it out."

Maes immediately leapt at the idea, twirling his wife around the kitchen while their daughter laughed and clapped her hands. "Why didn't you ever tell me, my dearest? I would have treated you long ago had you only spoken of your interest. Oh, but is my fault for not taking you there when it first opened!"

Edward rolled his eyes, then froze as he realized the restaurant Gracia was describing. It was conveniently close to Roy's place, like she'd said, and relatively cheap compared to some others in the food industry – which was why he and Roy found themselves eating there rather often. "You mean Fritz's?" he asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear her answer. Of course it was. There was no other restaurant with a good reputation a couple blocks south of Roy's address.

Roy almost visibly blanched as Ed voiced his question. His mind was still struggling with the sleeping situation; how to make it so Ed could easily slip in with him with the Hughes – minus Elysia – being none the wiser. But now the restaurant issue was of top priority, because it was looming in the next fifteen minutes and he just knew the staff would recognize him – with his usual date.

-+-

"Ah, Mr. Mustang. Your usual, table for two?" intoned the hostess as the group arrived at the restaurant. "If you and Mr. Elric would just follow me –" Roy hurriedly shushed her, nodding with his head towards the Hughes family, silently telling her that they were all together in one party. Hopefully Maes wouldn't catch on that the restaurant staff already knew Ed in relation to him, but then again the man did pay annoying attention to details. It was probably too much to hope that the investigator didn't figure out that he and Ed came here all the time. Together.

Maes frowned in his friend's general direction, but only scooped up his little girl and followed the hostess to their table in the back.

Elysia grumbled to herself in her seat. Though ecstatic that her parents hadn't forced her into one of those ridiculous high-chairs, the excitement soon wore off when the adults around her started talking about all sorts of boring goings-on. Luckily, her mother had allowed her to bring one toy to amuse herself, and of course she'd brought along her newest doll. As her daddy was talking about some kind of work-related topic, the toy version of her Uncle Roy in her left hand was dodging the painful looking fork in her right. Doll-Uncle-Roy suddenly acquired the ability to fly as the fork lunged toward him, and then he fell and rolled underneath the table as Elysia lost her grip on him.

Looking up, the little girl noticed that her parents, uncle, and big brother were still deeply involved in the same discussion about the military. Well, Big Brother Ed looked a bit distracted, but he was the youngest out of all them, save for her, so Elysia supposed she understood. The important part was that they were all too busy to notice her slide from her seat to retrieve Doll-Uncle-Roy from where he fell. The white tablecloth hung almost to the floor, and the table was wide enough that everyone sitting had space to stretch their legs without bumping into one another. Elysia, completely hidden, could easily maneuver down there and not worry too much about accidentally touching someone's foot and alerting everyone to her presence underneath the table. Everyone _had_ room to stretch their legs; but for some reason, Uncle Roy's and Big Brother Ed's chairs were extremely close. Their knees almost touched.

Doll-Uncle-Roy lay in the very center of space beneath their particular table. Grinning, the four-year-old carefully crawled forward to grab him. A sudden, jerky movement made her pause and look up – the strangeness of yet more movements froze her in place, her eyes glued to the action occurring around Big Brother Ed's pants. He'd changed out of Uncle Roy's clothes and back into his own before they left for dinner, so it was the normal leather that rested on his crotch.

It looked like something was trying to get out of his pants; maybe that twitching bulge was some kind of animal. A pet, perhaps? But then, why would Big Brother Ed hide an animal in his pants? That didn't make sense at all! The teen shifted his hips uncomfortably, and the animal under the leather strained harder against its restraints. Elysia blinked, intrigued. Then, from the top of the table, a hand came down to stroke it. Elysia would have understood Big Brother Ed wanting to soothe his pet, if it was a pet down there; after all, he would feel its restlessness and be alerted to its discomfort. But no. It was _Uncle Roy's_ hand that magically seemed to know when the animal in Big Brother Ed's pants needed some attention. She knew it was Uncle Roy's hand because it was covered in his special alchemy glove. And it was slightly bigger than Big Brother Ed's hand.

The little girl scooted a bit closer, vainly hoping to gain some understanding from getting a better view. Big Brother Ed lifted his butt clear off the seat, and Uncle Roy pressed down with the heel of his hand, and the animal bulge in the teen's pants was trapped neatly between them. Big Brother Ed's legs were shaking, and he sank back to his seat slowly. Uncle Roy kept squeezing that bump in the blond's pants, and then Edward's flesh hand joined Uncle Roy's from the other side of the tablecloth and together the two hands quickly pried open the belt buckle, button, and zipper that held Big Brother Ed's pants fastened on his waist. The two different hands worked together so well Elysia wondered if this was the first time they'd pulled that stunt. Maybe the animal in Ed's pants needed a _lot_ of attention, and Unlce Roy was the only one who knew how to help. Her daddy always said it would be a miracle if the two State Alchemists could ever accomplish anything together without fighting, and now she had proof that they could team up together just fine! They could even do it silently, and without looking at what they were doing. It looked like their fingers knew how to position themselves just so based on lots of practice.

Big Brother Ed's hand tugged at the glove on Uncle Roy's hand, and Uncle Roy's hand slid easily out of the pyrotex and delved into the far more stimulating cover of inside Ed's pants. The blond's hand retreated back to the other side of the tablecloth, leaving the straining bulge in Uncle Roy's more-than-capable appendage. It all happened so quickly Elysia didn't get a good look at the now-exposed animal trapped inside the leather, but that was all right. Uncle Roy continued squeezing and stroking, and every so often Big Brother Ed would dare to move his hips with the hand's harsh motions. Her big brother let out a hiss from above as one of Uncle Roy's nails slid somewhere sensitive, and the older alchemist tried to cover for him by laughing.

The little girl held her breath as she watched, knowing she was intruding in something private and dangerous but too caught up in the sight before her to turn away. Her green eyes were wide, trying to take it all in; her daddy always warned her not to miss a detail. Her right hand had formed a fist over her wildly beating heart; she knew the longer she stayed under the table, the more it was possible that her parents notice her empty chair. But it was too hard to tear her eyes away. She'd never seen anything like this before.

All of a sudden, Big Brother Ed froze, Uncle Roy's hand stilled, and Elysia almost gasped at the abrupt lack of movement. Her uncle's hand shifted a bit, and the little girl caught a glimpse of bulging reddish purple between his fingers before everything was covered in a sticky film of white. The little girl could see her big brother breathing deeply, trying to cover up his gasps by taking long, deep breaths. Did Uncle Roy succeed in killing the animal in Big Brother Ed's pants, and was all that white stuff some kind of white blood? Elysia almost cried from the injustice of it all. The poor animal was just lonely inside Ed's pants; how dare Uncle Roy hurt it?

Before she could wail, Uncle Roy's soiled hand sought out his old glove from Ed's knee. Instead of putting it back on, like Elysia thought he would, her uncle only shoved it gently inside her big brother's pants and clumsily did everything up again. His glove now covered the weeping dead life-form in her big brother's clothes, like the leftover fabric in which she and her mother had buried a dead bird in their yard. She heard the conversation topic shift above her.

"Edward, are you okay? You look really flushed."

"And you just hissed a while ago. Are you in pain?"

Her uncle stepped in, saying, "I'm sure Fullmetal's all right. Perhaps he just needs a trip to the bathroom?" The edge to his voice said it wasn't a suggestion, and everyone present knew it.

Big Brother Ed's legs were still shaking from what Elysia could see, but he immediately stood up. "Yeah. I probably just need to go clean up." Uncle Roy jabbed him discreetly, and Big Brother Ed rushed to explain, "You know, gotta wash my hands before the food gets here. Hehe…" He moved kind of hunched over, almost sprinting around tables to reach the men's room. Elysia didn't understand what had just happened, but tomorrow she'd ask Big Brother Ed if she could meet his pet. Again, she reached for her fallen doll when Uncle Roy's hand started moving again, catching her interest.

Uncle Roy had a matching animal in his own pants. Elysia crawled a bit to the right, peering intently as her uncle swiftly undid his own pants and plunged his ungloved hand down over his own bulge. His hand was still all covered in the white blood from Ed's pants-animal, but Uncle Roy didn't seem to mind. In fact, he slid a bit forward in his seat, relaxed, as if he was thoroughly enjoying the sensation. Elysia saw him spread the white stuff from Big Brother Ed all over the inside of his own pants, running his thumb along the throbbing animal peeking its head over the open zipper.

Shaking her head, Elysia grabbed hold of her doll and crawled backwards before she could witness another explosion of white blood. She didn't want to see the animal in Uncle Roy's pants die, too. Right before she reached her chair, she heard her parents exclaiming over her empty seat. She sighed. Not a moment too soon! "I'm here," she announced, popping her head out from underneath the tablecloth and presenting Doll-Uncle-Roy. The adults all stared at her. "He fell off the cliff," she explained brightly, and her mommy and daddy readily accepted her excuse.

It was her Uncle Roy's odd look that rested on her throughout the remainder of dinner that made Elysia feel a bit uneasy.


	4. Sleeping Arrangements

"That was a wonderful idea, my dear Gracia," Maes praised as he swung open the door to Roy's house. He'd barely pushed the door ajar before Ed was ducking beneath his arm to rush inside, his heavy boots clomping on the stairs. "And that was wonderfully strange," he said, staring after the teen's retreating form. "I wonder what's got Ed in such a panic today?"

Roy pushed past him, interrupting his concentration. "Fullmetal? In a panic? I'm sure it's nothing but some way overdue teenage angst. Don't give it another thought, Maes. Ed doesn't need you to look after him." He stopped and looked his friend in the eye. "I'm serious." He knew why Ed had raced upstairs before the Hughes: he had to, somehow, clean the one furnished guest room so Gracia could sleep there tonight. Maes was a crafty one, playing on Ed's rare bouts of respect. The two alchemists had been in such a rush to get the restaurant plans over with that they hadn't given a thought to the sleeping arrangement disposition they'd landed themselves in. Until now, when _that_ situation was looming instead.

They'd barely made their move in the restaurant in time. Roy was paranoid that Maes had heard the hostess greet him and Edward like the frequent customers they were.

Was it going to be this way for the duration of the Hughes' stay? No peace while trying to cover the tracks of a highly illicit affair…always running to make sure Maes didn't get a convincing piece of evidence against them…lying…trying to explain to Elysia just _what_ was going on…

Roy knew she'd seen what happened under the table. She probably had no idea just what she'd witnessed, but if either of her parents heard about it, they'd immediately jump to the right conclusion. And then, bye bye Edward. The muscles in the Flame's face tightened as he imagined the scenario, Maes as his executioner, little witness Elysia sitting in a court room describing just how "Uncle Roy squeezed Big Brother Ed's cock," only without using _that_ word. The courts would tear him and Ed apart, throw him in jail to rot as a pedophile and Edward…

Roy didn't want to think of what they'd do to Edward. He'd probably get off on being the manipulated "child," pardoned on account of "being taken advantage of," but Roy knew Ed would never allow for their relationship to be seen as such. Ed hated to be considered weak. He wouldn't let the courts sentence either of them without demonstrating just how willing he was in the entire situation.

And what of Elysia? Maes would surely kill him for corrupting her innocence. It wasn't his fault she kept catching him and Edward during their moments. It wasn't like they were inviting her to join – the mere thought made Roy shudder inside, ashamed of himself for even thinking it – but then again, all they did was try to buy her silence without trying to put things in the correct context for her. That would have to change. Especially if she believed he was hurting Edward.

"Roy," Maes started sternly, stepping over the threshold himself after his wife and daughter. "You can't expect me to believe—"

He was interrupted when the sound of cracking wood and a horrified expletive – _shit,_ Roy, _I didn't mean to!_ – echoed from upstairs. The frown on Maes's face deepened. What in the world was Edward doing up there? And hadn't he told him just that very evening not to use that kind of language in front of Elysia? Sure, she was sound asleep in her mother's arms now, but that crash could certainly have woken her. Thankfully, his little angel was worn out from the excitement of temporarily moving in with her Uncle Roy and didn't stir.

Mustang glanced between his friend and the stairs for five seconds before coming to a decision. It was rather hard. Should he do his best to keep the Hughes distracted downstairs, or should he go to Edward's aid and fix whatever mess he'd created? Because that was the way things usually went: Ed got himself in a scrape, and Roy smoothed things over for him. That crack of splitting wood sounded eerily enough like furniture coming undone via alchemy, and he was sure he didn't want to know…but if Ed was wrecking his house, he had no choice but to go upstairs. Maes would definitely think it odd if he let Ed get away with damage. So he excused himself with a nod and hurried up the steps.

Maes Hughes followed.

"Edward, what in the world did you do now?" the older alchemist asked, exasperated as he burst into his one guest room. The place was a mess with the moldy food strewn across the floor, but mostly hidden under the research papers still settling on any surface available. Everything was covered in feathers and thread, and the bedpost had cracked down the middle. The mattress was an unrecognizable lump, stretched out of shape but clearly without the imprint of Al's armor.

The blond was about to answer before he spotted his lover's shadow. "Er…"

Keen green eyes surveyed the area before swiveling to the culprit. "Ed," he said, reminding the boy that Mustang had just asked him a question. A question he also wouldn't mind knowing the answer to.

Fidgeting, the teen caught a feather from an exploded pillow and almost tugged it apart in his nervousness. "Um. I was just trying to clean up. For Gracia. You know how messy boys can be," he explained, forcing a laugh. It was the truth, mostly. He _was_ trying to clean up. Hughes didn't need to know that he was also trying to get rid of incriminating evidence.

"And you made an even bigger mess," Mustang pointed out, trying to appear stern but secretly relieved that at least Maes wouldn't know that Alphonse had been staying there long-term. If he knew Al was living with him, it wasn't a big leap to assume that Ed was _also_ living with him. And the fact that there was only one bed in the guest room, and knowing that the Elric brothers, as close as they were, didn't share bedding…well, there was only one other place Ed could sleep, and it wouldn't be another leap to conclude just _what_ he was doing in Roy's bed.

"I'll clean it!" Ed yelled, hands clenching into fists. "I'll get everything straightened out, Mustang."

"Ah, back to 'Mustang' now instead of 'Roy,' is it?"

Both alchemists turned to the investigator who'd spoken. Roy's face paled considerably, and a drop of sweat slid down the back of Ed's neck. The teen turned his attention to the mess around him, trying to shuffle research notes into chronological order. It didn't hurt to be on top of organization! The thought of paperwork sounded much more alluring than being scolded by Maes Hughes about loving his superior officer. He fumbled with the pages for a second, hands shaking at Maes's acute observation.

Roy cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence that had descended upon the three of them. Edward was clearly going for the "I didn't hear anything you said because it wasn't what I wanted to hear" approach; they couldn't both ignore Hughes. He was getting close to figuring them out, or maybe he already had – goodness knows he had enough data to draw a conclusion – and maybe he was just baiting them into confessing. Well, Roy wouldn't. Even if he had to live a lie in his own house for a couple days, he wouldn't just outright say he was screwing with the Fullmetal. "Hughes," he murmured, a warning edge to his voice.

The bespectacled man studied the Flame Alchemist. The way his eyes were narrowed, trying to hide the swelling of fear reflected in his pupils, the way he stood up straighter like he knew he was being inspected, the way his lips pursed into a thin line. Maes sighed, adjusting his glasses, and lightly rebuked, "It's inappropriate for him to call you by your first name. He is your subordinate."

"He is also a guest in my home," Roy bit out, mentally apologizing to Ed for calling him a 'guest' instead of a 'resident.' "And as far as work goes, we're both off-duty."

"Yet you continue to call him 'Fullmetal.'"

Roy inwardly cursed and swallowed the lump of anxiety in his throat. "Yes, well," he stammered, searching his brain for a reasonable excuse. "Force of habit, you know." He knew it was weak, and Maes and Ed knew too, if their twin glares were anything to judge by.

They were saved by a rap on the door. "I am a bit sleepy, and Elysia here is all tuckered out from her exciting day. Where shall I put her down to rest?" Roy quickly rethought his religious beliefs; Gracia Hughes was a damned _angel_.

-+-

"Big Brother Ed, do I really have to sleep on the floor?" the little four-year-old whined, clutching her pink pillow to her chest. Mustang had kept his bedroom. Gracia was unknowingly borrowing Alphonse's bed while her husband settled on the floor beside her. The room wasn't spotless, but Ed had managed to clean it up somewhat before the married couple turned in. The 'kids,' which included Edward much to the alchemist's dismay, were sent to one of Roy's unfurnished rooms to wait out the night.

The blond teen supposed he understood. Maes just wanted his daughter looked after, and who better to trust that job to than the Fullmetal Alchemist? It also didn't hurt that the kid already idolized him. "Sorry," he answered, actually making an effort to sound sincere in his apology for once. "Mustang's too cheap to buy beds for all his guest rooms. Even your daddy has to brave the floor tonight, kiddo."

Elysia sighed but turned back to her pile of blankets. "This isn't a very good camping trip, Big Brother."

Edward just blinked. "Camping?" he echoed, scratching his head. When had camping ever been mentioned? Sure, sleeping on the bastard's floor was about as adventurous as sleeping outside in the middle of nowhere…

Instead of elaborating, the little girl just asked instead: "Did you bury your pet?"

The alchemist almost fell over from shock. Did all kids talk such nonsense? Well, granted, this _was_ the daughter of Maes Hughes, and the man _was_ known for rambling about crazy things. It seemed such things were genetic, after all. "What pet?" he asked slowly, trying to remember if he'd ever had a pet. No – the closest he'd gotten to having a pet was owning Roy.

The little girl sniffled. "Did I make you sad, Big Brother? I didn't mean to bring it up. You were trying to forget it had died, and…"

"Whoa, time out!" Ed interjected, sliding to his knees in front of the distraught child. "You didn't do anything wrong, Elysia, so don't worry. I'm just a bit confused. I've never had a pet, so what are you talking about?"

"Uncle Roy has one, too," the four-year-old piped up, trying to explain. "He…Uncle Roy killed him…" she whispered, shuddering. "At dinner. Uncle Roy squeezed your pet to death, and there was all this white _blood_ …" Too shaken up to continue, she burrowed into her blankets and sobbed outright. "And then Uncle Roy was going to kill his own pet, but I couldn't watch! How can Uncle Roy be so _mean_?"

Understanding dawned in golden eyes, followed immediately by the brightest flush ever to hit Ed Elric's face. Elysia had seen…and she'd assumed…

He and Roy were beyond lucky that Maes and Gracia had tucked her in while she was still asleep from the walk home. The sleepy little thing had awoken only when her parents turned in for the night, so she'd not had a chance to tell them about what she'd witnessed under the dinner table. "That's not…what happened." Ed sighed, raking a finger through his bangs. How in the world was he supposed to explain _this_ one? Dammit, this was all Roy's fault!

"So…your pet didn't die?" Elysia asked hopefully, brightening at the prospect. She lifted a tear-stained face from her pillow, checking to be sure her 'big brother' was telling the truth. Her daddy said Big Brother Ed often lied to get out of trouble.

Ed shook his head, offering the little girl a tired smile. "It's fine. What you saw tonight at the restaurant…was just another of those things…that your Uncle Roy and I don't want your parents knowing about. We were being bad again. Trust me, nothing died tonight. You have nothing to worry about, Elysia. Now, what would you like this time in exchange for your silence? Remember, you can't tell your mommy and daddy what you saw." He hated pressuring and bribing the child, but he needed to in order to keep his relationship with Roy secret. Maybe when Elysia was older, he'd try to explain. But right now, he just couldn't. Not when she was but an innocent four-year-old.

Elysia nodded thoughtfully, scrunching her face as she tried to think of something else she wanted. Green eyes landed on her 'Roy doll,' and she immediately perked up. "I want a doll of you, Big Brother! That way, Doll You can be friends with Doll Uncle Roy! Won't that be perfect?"

Ed was already clapping to comply with her request before he realized what she wanted. His heart lurched in his chest, but he finished the transmutation regardless and tucked in the alchemized mini-version of himself. Elysia snatched her new 'Ed doll' and cuddled both it and 'Doll Uncle Roy' to her chest as she drifted off.

When he was sure the young girl was happily dreaming, the Fullmetal Alchemist let out a groaned "We are fucked, Mustang" and flopped onto his back.

"No, that would only be you, Edward."

The blond teen jumped to his feet, glaring at the smirking visage in the doorway. "Screw you," he hissed. "Do you know what else she _saw_?" he asked, waving wildly in the sleeping child's direction. He was frustrated with the whole situation, and Roy's attitude was not helping matters.

"She saw what happened at the restaurant," Roy answered without missing a beat. "She was under the table the entire time."

Edward blanched, and he backed up a step. "You…you perverted…you _knew_ and you kept on going! She thinks you killed some kind of animal in my pants!"

Roy's smirk grew as he nonchalantly said, "So that's what we're calling it now. Seems fitting enough."

Ed growled and childishly stomped his foot. "Shut up, bastard! What the hell are we going to do? I gave her another doll so she'd stay quiet, but she's so confused now. What if we…I don't know…ruin her or something? She's so innocent. She doesn't deserve…"

Sighing, Roy stepped fully into the room and shut the door behind him. "I didn't know she was watching until after you ran off to clean up. I never would have touched you had I known."

"So what now?"

The older alchemist flashed a smile at his younger lover. "Now, you sneak into my room and spend the night with me." He strode over to the blond and had him in his arms in under three seconds flat. "Stay with me, Ed," he purred, nipping at the blond's earlobe.

Edward shuddered, golden eyes glazed from the attention he was receiving. Roy was ravishing his neck now, and the teen couldn't think. "Elysia," he gasped finally.

His lover pulled back to correct him. "No, it's Roy. Your bastard, shrimp."

The blond glared at him for the height-insult, but didn't overreact with some huge temper tantrum. "No, I mean I can't leave her alone. What if Hughes decides to check in on us during the night? He'd know something is up if I'm not here where I'm supposed to be, guarding his beloved kid."

Roy slumped over the younger alchemist. "So that means I'll have to stay in here if I want any tonight."

"No!" Ed near-shouted, pushing at Mustang's chest. "You idiot! There is a _little girl_ in here with us. We are _not_ having sex a few feet away from a four-year-old!"

"But Edward, she's sleeping," Roy pointed out, as if that made it okay.

Edward's glare turned icy. "Save it. I refuse to fuck here and now."

"I've been saving it _all damned day_ ," Roy growled, and again swept the other in his arms. "You at least owe me a kiss."

Acquiescing, the blond yanked the older's head down for a good tongue battle. "That," he panted, "I don't mind one bit." Roy smirked and kissed him again, his hands traveling south to squeeze Ed's backside and haul the teen against his front. Ed squirmed. "I said no—ngh, Roy. _Fuck_ , do that again!"

The Flame smirked against the Fullmetal's lips. "That didn't take much convincing, did it?"

"Just shut up and touch me, bastard."

-+-

The room was hot. The first thing Elysia noticed when she woke up was the warm air circulating the room. There were globs of sweat making her hair stick to her neck, and she found she couldn't bear the thought of lying under covers. It was too stifling for that. So she kicked off her blankets and chanced a look around.

The room was hot.

That must be why Big Brother Ed and Uncle Roy were only half-dressed. Even clothes were uncomfortable in heat like this! She didn't know why Uncle Roy was visiting them in the dark of night, but it was definitely the Flame Alchemist who was on top of her big brother. Ed was bare from the waist up, his right automail arm glinting in the moonlight; his tank top was flung somewhere in the corner. Roy was technically still clothed, but his button-up pajama top was flapping open as he suspended himself above the teen.

The little girl was about to tell them that, if they were so hot, it might be better to give each other some space to cool down. But before she could open her mouth, her Uncle Roy moaned: "God, Ed, you make me so hot." Before proceeding to thoroughly kiss the younger man. Elysia gaped. Her uncle and big brother _wanted_ to be hot with each other? How uncomfortable!

"Mmm, bastard," Ed growled and slightly pushed at the other alchemist's shoulders. It was the first time Elysia had heard Ed use bad language without an angry tone of voice. In fact, his tone now seemed rather loving and affectionate. "We have to stop. Elysia could wake up…oh _yes_ …any moment now… _Roooyyy_ …you have to go to bed." The blond teen groaned and writhed, loathe to actually force Mustang away. He'd given in to a bit of playing around, but he wouldn't let it get _too_ far while in close proximity to a sleeping child. Roy was tempting him to push past that boundary. "Go to bed."

Roy lifted his head from Ed's neck, pulling an innocent face. "Come with me?" he asked, hands clutching the blond's hips. The younger alchemist hurriedly pushed Roy's hands off of him. Playtime could wait until after the Hughes family left.

"Nu-uh," he protested. "Later, I'm all yours. But for right now, I have a little sister to protect from her 'uncle's' perverted way of thinking." Without waiting for Roy to respond, he raised himself on his elbows and pressed his lips to the other's. Deeply. The Flame responded in time before slowly, reluctantly, peeling himself away from the enticing blond alchemist to leave the room.

Mustang paused in the doorway, eyes flickering back around the room. "Get some sleep, Ed. Elysia. I need you both to be awake in the morning." With a last fond smile, he was gone down the hallway. Edward twisted his head just far enough to see that Elysia was, indeed, awake – before cursing loudly to himself that they'd been caught again.

Goddamn Roy Mustang and his insatiable hormones.


	5. Confrontations

"Edward, why are your clothes in the fireplace?"

The blond lifted his gaze from the book he was reading, golden eyes focusing on the wrinkled tank top in Gracia's hand. Roy had supposedly cleaned up the trail of clothing from yesterday afternoon, but it seemed he'd missed something. "Oh," the teen managed, voice weak. "Is that where that disappeared to?"

Elysia giggled. "Big Brother Ed keeps losing his shirt!"

Maes, Roy, and Ed all glanced sharply at her, but for very different reasons. "Honey…?" the only male Hughes in the vicinity asked, mentally prodding his daughter to elaborate. The two alchemists paled again, and Ed tried to hide behind his book.

"Well, it was hot last night," the little girl explained, making her Roy-doll dance along the carpet. "I think Big Brother Ed was just trying to cool off. He took his shirt off – actually, I think Uncle Roy was the one who took it off him."

Ed's book fell to the floor as he stared at his 'little sister' in horror. Roy froze, choking on his coffee. "What?" they both exclaimed, echoed seconds later by Maes and Gracia Hughes.

The four-year-old blinked curiously at the flabbergasted adults. "What's the matter? Uncle Roy is always lookin' out for Big Brother Ed! See?" She lifted her two newest dolls in the air and proceeded to make Doll-Uncle-Roy hug Doll-Big-Brother-Ed. "I mean, Daddy, I don't think they fight as much as you think they do."

Roy chanced eye contact with his lover before gulping audibly. It seemed the bribes didn't work in the long-run. Then again, how long did he think he could hide it? He couldn't hide his feelings for Ed the rest of his life. Clutching his coffee mug, he kept his eyes downcast and waited for the judgments to begin. Tattled on by a four-year-old – what a way to go…

Edward leaned over to retrieve his fallen book, willing some color back to his face. Somehow, he doubted his punishment would be to sit quietly in the 'time-out' corner for five minutes. Fidgeting in his seat, he waited for the accusations to fly. How could he deny the truth when it was already out in the open? Maes and Gracia weren't naïve enough to be bought off with dolls.

"What did you say, sweetie?" Maes asked, seating himself on the floor next to his daughter. His eyes narrowed at his alchemist friends yet again, and he wondered just what he was missing. He had a feeling it was something incredibly obvious, but he just couldn't put his finger on a logical solution. Elysia's words almost made it sound like there was something going on between them – but the idea was so ludicrously illogical that he skipped over the possibility. Edward Elric and Roy Mustang _together_? How utterly absurd!

Elysia followed her father's eye to her uncle and big brother. They looked tense, like they were waiting to be scolded. Was she not supposed to tell about what she saw in the dead of night? They'd not said anything specifically about that particular episode. They'd told her not to tell her parents of what she'd witnessed in Uncle Roy's bedroom last evening, and not to mention what happened underneath the table during dinner. At no time did either of them say, "Elysia, don't tell your parents about Uncle Roy visiting Big Brother Ed in the middle of the night and undressing him." Well, if this was another of those things she wasn't supposed to mention, then she'd best cover up her mistake. The little girl coughed. "I think it was a dream," she said timidly, tilting her head at her father. Seeming to think on it for a moment, she nodded her head decisively. "Yup, it was definitely a dream. What would Uncle Roy want with Big Brother Ed's shirt anyway? Silly me!"

Breathing twin sighs of relief, Roy and Ed grinned at one another before directing smiles at the little girl. She'd obviously realized that she'd let something slip. Even if it was a poor attempt at a cover-up, she was little and she was trying.

Gracia let out some breath she'd been holding, and calmly handed Edward his tank top. Her daughter's 'dream' explanation was good enough for her. Elysia was clearly excited to spend time with both her uncle and big brother, so it made sense that they appear in her dreams; only why did she dream of them acting like _that_?

Maes, on the other hand, did not accept the 'dream' explanation so lightly. Roy and Ed had reacted horribly for supposedly not having anything to hide, and Elysia's words sounded hesitant and questioning to his trained ear. It paid to notice the little details. His daughter was _lying_ to him, and that was a first. She wasn't supposed to start lying to him until she hit puberty, if ever! But his daughter was unnaturally focused on her new toys now, clearly unwilling to talk. He wouldn't push it. Not now. "Okay, angel. If you say so." Getting to his feet, he motioned his best friend into the kitchen.

-+-

"Spill."

Roy hastily remembered to act innocent, like he had no inkling of whatever Maes was talking about. "Spill what?" he asked, turning to hide his shaking hands. Another cup of coffee sounded good right about now. Avoiding this interrogation sounded even better.

Maes groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Roy, don't play dumb. You're terrible at it, and I've known you too long to fall for your weak attempts. Mind telling me what's going on around here? I don't buy Elysia's 'dream' story. I know she was lying. But why? And if she was telling the truth at first, that means you…and Edward…what the _hell_ is going on?"

Setting his mug on the counter with a clank, Roy gathered his thoughts and continued staring at his empty cabinets. It wouldn't do to lie to his friend. Not only would Maes see right through it, but that wasn't the kind of person Roy wanted to be. He couldn't exactly volunteer the truth, though. That idea was even worse than the thought of lying. So he settled on: "I can't tell you." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. It was vague and evasive, but hopefully it would deter Maes Hughes from digging further – if only out of respect for his friend's privacy and boundaries.

"So you admit there's something going on?" the investigator pressed, not letting the matter go.

"That depends," Roy answered slowly, noncommittally. "What would you define as 'something'?" He knew the fact that he was dating Edward Elric was definitely 'something,' no matter how one looked at it, but he couldn't bring himself to say so aloud.

The older man sighed, half tempted to burst into insane laughter. Roy was annoying him past breaking point, and never before had he tried so hard to get past his friend's defenses. Roy was normally so compliant around him. Maes sighed again, trying to figure this out. For Mustang to be so closed off, he must be hiding something of extreme importance. "Something dangerous? Illegal, perhaps?"

"Maybe neither, maybe both, depending on one's perception," the Flame answered immediately. He let a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. Despite the dire situation, he was having fun messing with Maes. If this wasn't something about Edward, he would almost go so far as to say he was enjoying this conversation. Nettling his friends was a favorite pastime of his; thus he went on to say, "You might also say it's immoral. But again, that's open to interpretation."

Maes gaped. What in the world was Roy getting at? He was making no sense! He had to stick to the facts, lest he let Roy distract him with mind games. Facts. Pure, solid facts. There was a secret Roy was sharing with Edward, and somehow his little girl had stumbled upon it. Both alchemists were terrified of the possibility their secret could come to light. Roy was, in his own way, refusing to talk about the issue at hand by talking circles around it.

At least Edward was direct.

-+-

"Ask me again in ten years and I might have an answer for you."

Maes groaned. Why had he thought talking with Edward would be any easier? "What difference will ten years make?" he asked dryly, blocking the exit so the blond teen couldn't run. At least Ed was being slightly more cooperative than Roy had been; at least Ed wasn't glaring at the cabinets the whole time. The younger alchemist had the nerve to look him in the eye when he spoke.

Ed shrugged. "Not much, I expect. Maybe I'll just feel like telling you then – if you haven't already figured it out."

Deciding to try the same tactic he'd tried on Mustang, Maes asked, "So you admit there's an 'it' to figure out?"

The blond looked at him with a raised eyebrow, an expression eerily similar to one Roy sported on numerous occasions. "Well, of course. You're not stupid, Hughes, and I'm not going to insult your intelligence by telling you nothing's going on when we both know there is. However, nor am I going to let you in on 'the know,' so please don't pry. It's not anything disastrous or anything. It's…ah…a personal issue that concerns me an' the Colonel, that's all."

At least Edward was telling him _something_. Maes grinned and relaxed a little, letting his folded arms fall to his sides. "If I guess correctly, will you tell me?"

The blond alchemist grinned back. "You get two guesses, and that's being generous on my end."

"Are you and Mustang partnered together for some top-secret military project that even I don't know about?" Maes asked, thinking it the only plausible explanation for their weird behavior. Although, that still didn't explain how his daughter was involved – unless maybe she saw them working on something confidential…

Ed's grin grew wider as he shook his head. He knew he was taking a risk when he offered Hughes even two guesses, but he was confident the man would never assume the truth. Even with all the evidence piled in front of his eyes. It was human nature to ignore what one didn't want to see, what one didn't believe could be possible. At least the idea of Ed and Roy together in _that_ way was inconceivable, especially to those who knew them best.

"I don't even know what else to think," the bespectacled man murmured agitatedly, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Unless you two are secretly dating or some such nonsense." His tone of voice made it clear he didn't believe what he was saying, but that it was a last-ditch effort to understand the matter.

Ed choked, then quickly turned it into a forced laugh. Still wheezing, he pushed past the other and responded in a low voice: "If you're not going to use your guess seriously, then don't expect a serious answer."

-+-

Elysia hugged her dolls tightly to her chest. Her daddy hadn't forced her to speak, but he'd dragged both her uncle and big brother away. She was afraid they'd been caught doing those naughty things she didn't understand, and she was scared for them. She didn't want them to get in trouble. Her mommy had gone upstairs to make her bed, and Elysia had opted to stay in the living room. At least she couldn't hear raised voices from the kitchen; at least her daddy wasn't yelling at them.

Finally, she heard the telltale mismatched footsteps of her older brother clomping down the hallway. The four-year-old watched him pass by the living room, entirely focused on his destination. He still clutched the black tank top from the fireplace in his hand, and the little girl could see his grip was tight from the whiteness of his knuckles. Her daddy followed a moment later, looking weary and resigned with tense furrows in his brow. He looked like he needed cheering up.

Elysia smiled and ran up to him, dropping her dolls to wrap her arms tightly around her daddy's knee instead.

-+-

"What did you tell him?" Roy asked once his blond lover had burst into the room. "I didn't tell him anything he could work with, which is why he went to you for answers. I'm sure of it."

Ed brushed a hand over his head and walked over to the closet. "I let him have two guesses. His second one was spot-on, but he said it like he didn't believe it could ever happen. I let him think that." With fumbling hands, he managed to get his tank top on a coat hanger and put it back in the closet. His other shirt from yesterday was still in the corner of his new sleeping quarters, but he could retrieve that later.

Roy nodded. "Excellent. At least for the moment, we should be safe." Forgetting the bedroom – not to mention closet – door was open, the older alchemist drew the younger into a tight hug. "We only have to keep this up a couple more days, Ed. Soon enough their house will be ready to be lived in again, and you and I can go back to how things were before." He finished up the pep-talk with a chaste kiss, just to keep their spirits up.

The golden-eyed alchemist flashed his lover a grin and dragged that head of black hair down for a longer, more-involved kiss.

-+-

Elysia swallowed and peeped around the doorway to her Uncle Roy's room. It was almost time for bed, and she had just finished officially introducing her daddy to her newest dolls. He had seemed very impressed with the details put into the plushie versions of the two alchemists; she thought Big Brother Ed might be happy to hear the praise. He'd also looked to be in need of cheering up the last time she saw him, but she was sure Uncle Roy was taking care of that. The little girl hesitantly stepped into the room; an open doorway was an invitation, right? Whatever that meant. Based on her experiences, 'invitations' were pretty little cards with glitter that told her friends when to come to her birthday parties. Elysia didn't know how a door could turn into a pretty little card with glitter, but she knew she'd heard the phrase before; maybe her daddy could explain it to her later. "Um," she called out. "Uncle Roy? Big Brother Ed?" Tense, she took another few steps into the room. She knew her parents didn't want her 'bothering' her uncle in his room – but she needed to apologize before the day was over. The guilt had been weighing on her shoulders all day; she'd never wanted to get them in trouble with her daddy…

"Go on, Edward. Suck it. Suck it like a lollipop."

The little girl gasped and froze in place. Green eyes widened; she trembled at the tone of voice her uncle had used. That was his 'Colonel Mustang' voice, the tone of a high-ranking military man used to issuing orders. She was about to scold her uncle for using bad words, but then she remembered her daddy's explanation: "We _only_ use the word 'suck' to say something like 'suck on a lollipop.' Okay?" With a sigh of relief, Elysia took another step forward. Uncle Roy understood the rules of bad language after all.

Neither alchemist was in plain view in the main bedroom. Padding onward, the four-year-old peered into the closet – and immediately squealed and backpedaled. Falling back on her butt, she scooted away, emerald eyes wide as could be. She'd seen a lot over the past couple of days, but she just didn't know how to _handle_ these situations. She panicked. Without listening to the two alchemists' protests and exclamations, she turned away. Enough was enough, and she was scared. Eyes tearing, she jumped to her feet and rushed out the master bedroom, into the hallway, and into her parents' guest room. "Mommy, daddy!" she shrieked, barreling her way onto her mother's lap.

"Elysia, sweetie, what's wrong? It's nighttime now. It's time for sleep." Gracia tried to be as reassuring and gentle as she could, but it was rather hard when she was trying to get a well-deserved rest. Maes calmly sat down next to his wife and gently stroked his daughter's back, trying to get her to calm down.

With a loud cry of, "Mommy, Daddy! Big Brother Ed and Uncle Roy are doing bad stuff in the closet!" Elysia collapsed, shaking, against her mother's side. The tears spilled, and the fears and doubts gurgled out her lips. "B-Big Brother Ed was on his knees and his face was real close to Uncle Roy's no-no spot. I don't get it! Big Brother Ed hates to be called short, but he was kneeling down and he was even smaller than normal! A-And his mouth was wide open, like he was gonna—gonna eat a whole meal all by himself. I _saw_ Big Brother Ed eat dinner tonight! He…he said he was too full for _chocolate cake_ , remember? I don't know why he'd eat Uncle Roy as dessert instead!" she wailed.

Maes almost choked on his own spittle. " _What?_ " he hissed, then immediately hugged his daughter so she'd know it wasn't _her_ he was angry at. "Honey, can you tell me what else you've seen your 'Uncle Roy' and 'Big Brother Ed' doing?" he asked, forcing warmth into an otherwise clipped tone.

"I _can't!_ " Elysia cried despairingly. "I promised I wouldn't say nothin'!" Then she sniffled, glossy eyes brightening. "But they didn't say nothin' about me _showing_ you…" Hopping down from her perch, she rushed downstairs to retrieve her doll versions of her uncle and big brother. As soon as she left, the real versions stumbled into the room.

Edward's golden-amber eyes were panicked as he took in Maes's and Gracia's expressions. "Um, look, we can explain –"

Maes held up a hand. His voice was deadly as he hissed, "Save it for later. Right now, my daughter is going to tell us everything. You two will have to wait your turn to tell your side of the story; I already gave you your chance to 'fess up. I won't let you manipulate my little angel anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally planning on about 1 more chapter and an epilogue. 
> 
> Elysia using her new dolls to reenact RoyEd moments she witnessed in excruciating detail, along with commentary about how she doesn't understand what's going on. Maes and Gracia being badass parents and lighting into Roy and Ed for their irresponsibility. Their reactions to RoyEd overall. The four adults trying to put things in context for Elysia as best as possible (mostly that Roy is NOT hurting Ed). Epilogue set years in the future where it's Roy's and Ed's job to have "the talk" with Elysia.
> 
> If anyone wants to write it, feel free. Please just let me know. <3


End file.
